It happened last night. For approximately three hours, the physical ego disintegrated for the first time in such a total way.

Nothing remained but the Force, nothing remained but Sat-Chit-Ananda,' and not only in the consciousness but in the physical sensation - the divine Satchidananda spreading in a constant flood throughout the universe.

These experiences are always absolute, as long as they last; then, through certain signs that I know (I am accustomed to it), I notice that the body consciousness begins closing up again. Or rather, 'something' - evidently a Supreme Wisdom - decides it's sufficient for this time and that the body has had enough. It ought not to break, which is why certain precautions are taken. So this comes in several little stages that I know quite well. The final one is always a bit unpleasant because my body gets into rather peculiar positions as a result of the work. As it's only a sort of machine, towards the end I have some difficulty straightening my knees, for example, or opening my fingers - I think they even make a noise, like something forced into one position whose life has become purely spontaneous and mechanical. There are plenty of people like that, plenty, who enter into trance and then can no longer get out by themselves; they get themselves into a certain position and someone has to free them. This has never happened to me; I have always managed to extricate myself. But yesterday evening, the experience lasted a very long time. There was even a little cracking at the end, as when people have rheumatism.

And during all this time, approximately three hours, the consciousness was completely, completely different. It was here, however; it was not outside the earth, it was on earth, but it was completely different - even the body consciousness was different. And what remained was very mechanical; it was a body, but it could just as well have been anything. All this power of consciousness that for more than seventy years I've gradually pushed into each of the body's cells so that each cell could become conscious (and it goes on constantly, constantly), all this seemed to have withdrawn - there only remained one almost lifeless thing.

1. Sat-Chit-Ananda: the three Supreme Principles, Existence (Sat), Consciousness (Chit), and Bliss (Ananda).

page 371 , Mother's Agenda , volume - 1, 24th May 1960

During those three hours, there was nothing but the Supreme manifesting through the eternal Mother.

But there was no consciousness of being Mother, neither eternal nor whatever: it was a continuous and all-powerful flood, and so extraordinarily varied, of the Lord manifesting Himself.

It was as vast as the universe, a continuous movement - the movement of manifestation of something which was EVERYTHING at once, a single whole. There was no division. And such a variety of colors, vibrations, powers - extraordinary! It was one single thing, and everything was within it.

The three Supreme Principles were very clearly there: Existence, Consciousness (an active, realizing consciousness) and Ananda. A universal vastness that kept going on and on and on ...

page 372 , Mother's Agenda , volume - 1, 24th May 1960
But for years together I only slept 2 1/2 hours a night in all. I mean that my night consisted of 2 1/2 hours. And I went straight to Sat-Chit-Ananda and then came back: 2 1/2 hours were spent like that. But the body was tired. That lasted more than five or six years while Sri Aurobindo was still in his body. And during the day, I was all the time going into trance for the least thing (it was trance, not sleep - I was conscious). But I clearly saw that the body was affected, for it had no time to burn its toxins.'

... There would be many interesting things to tell about sleep, because it's one of the things I've studied the most - to speak of how I became conscious of my nights, for instance. (I learned this with Theon, and now that I know all these things of India, I realize that he knew a GREAT deal.) But it bothers me a lot to say 'I' - I this, I that. I'd rather speak of these things in the form of a treatise or an essay on sleep, for example. Sri Aurobindo always spoke of his experiences but rarely did he say' I' - it always sounds like boasting.

Sri Aurobindo said that the true or yogic reason for sleep is to put the consciousness back into contact with Sat-Chit-Ananda (I used to do this without knowing it). For some people the contact is established immediately, while for others it takes eight, nine, ten hours to do it. But really, normally you should not wake up till the contact has been established, and that's why it's very bad to wake up in an artificial way (with an alarm clock, for example), because then the night is wasted.

page 381 , Mother's Agenda , volume - 1, 4th June 1960

Do you remain conscious of yourself?

Oh, yes! I remain conscious. But nothing's there any more. It's clear, it's luminous, and there's absolutely nothing.
It is the state of mental tranquillity.

Nothing exists for you any more?

I hear noises.
Ah!

I can still physically hear what's going on around me.
Then you're not in Nirvana.

But isn't it a sort of annihilation?
No. It's a total tranquilization, but not an annihilation.

(long silence
Mother tunes in to Satprem)

You probably enter into the state of pure Existence. First mental silence, then pure Existence, Existence outside of the Manifestation: the state of Sat.

It is pure Existence, outside of the Manifestation.

Whenever we've meditated together, I've always had the impression that you entered into that sort of rather blissful silence; it's something permanent, yes, but not an annihilation. It's Sat - the Sat that comes before Chit-Tapas. [[Sat: existence or being; Chit-Tapas: consciousness-energy; the third member of the trinity is Ananda: bliss. ]] In other words it can last an eternity with no sense of time, and be an infinity with no sense of space.

But I tell you, it also has an EXTRAORDINARY utility: it automatically renews all the energies. Actually, that's the true reason for sleep: to be able to enter that state. And that's why those who can enter it consciously in meditation need much less sleep. Much less. It's what enables the body to last: Sat. And whenever I have meditated with you, I've always had a feeling of entering that state.


Pure existence, outside of the Manifestation. It is wonderfully luminous, immobile, tranquil, and ... a sort of bliss devoid of any vibration, beyond vibration.

It is very useful.

Actually, one should always keep this in the background of the consciousness and refer to it automatically to correct or avoid or annul ... all disturbances.

It's what I use, for example, when the body has some trouble (I use it for the most ordinary and minor things: coughing when something goes down the wrong way, hiccups, things like that). All these minor problems of the body can be stopped almost instantly by entering that state. It takes a few seconds. It should be kept in the background all the time, all the time, all the time, as if supporting everything from behind. By nature it is absolutely silent, immobile, luminous.... Yes, it gives the sense of Eternity and Infinity. It is eternal, infinite, outside of time, outside of space, it's ... it's Sat.

If one can keep that constantly in the background of one's consciousness, there's no further need to take off anywhere (ethereal gesture towards the heights): all you have to do is this (gesture of stepping back), and there it is.

And it is the root cure of disorder. It is anti-disorder.

That's how you can cure somebody, if he's able to receive it. It's the antidote to disorder, the perfect antidote to disorder.

Yes, one leaves that state refreshed, rested.
Yes, exactly.

page 397-98 , Mother's Agenda , volume 3 , 30th Oct. 1962

I myself had an experience lasting the full half hour of the meditation.

Nothing was left but an immensity, without beginning, without end, neither in space nor in time - outside time. Outside time and space: an immensity of light. It was something of the same nature as light, but not light - far brighter, far ... not bright: far more intense than light. It was white, but not our physical white; it was a white ... at the time I couldn't define it. Afterwards, looking at it again in my consciousness, it seemed to be the light of a gold turned white, you understand: like when you bring something to white heat. Well, it was like gold becoming white through its intensity. It was ABSOLUTELY immobile - that is, I had the feeling you get in Sat. [[Sat: Pure Being or Existence. ]] Yet that immobility contained (how shall I put it?) ... yes, it actively contained - although its action wasn't perceptible - a sort of infinite Power, which could be the creative Power. And directed by an unmanifest Consciousness.... If you can make anything out of this, good for you!

It took me a long while to formulate it. What I am telling you now came gradually, slowly, through a sort of silent revelation. At the moment, it was nothing but Sat, an immobile Existence.

page 431-32 , Mother's Agenda , volume 3 , 27th Nov. 1962